The Light of His Presence

About a month ago our trip leader, Chris Gaynor, broke us up into three teams that would work in three separate ministries each afternoon during our week in India. We had an amazing medical team (complete with three doctors and a few nurses) and we were going to create a ‘children’s team’ and a ‘village team.’ My automatic response upon hearing the three options was, ‘Children, duh.’ I check that box and began imagining myself hugging orphans, singing songs, braiding hair and just loving on some kids. That apparently, was not God’s idea for the week. For some mysterious reason I got put on the village ministry team and given the short description that we would be “Planting mango trees, sharing the gospel, visiting with people and praying with them.” Yea, street evangelism and praying for strangers- especially strangers that don’t speak English or Spanish- not my thing, sorry God. 

I focused my thoughts on those Mango Trees (because that sounded safe enough) and tried to get excited about something new. Chris, if any of you know him, has recently been asked to transition his role as worship pastor at Summit Church into a pastor of worship and prayer. Much, if not most of our preparation for concerts, and for this trip in particular was spending time talking and communing with the Lord. The more we prayed about the trip, the more I began to feel confident that God had placed me on this particular team for a reason. I kept coming back to the verse in 2 Cor 12, My grace is made perfect in your weakness. Its easy for me to play with kids, but let me tell you walking up to people as asking them if I can pray for them scares the socks right off my feet. The week leading up to the trip I found myself almost threatening God, ‘Ok Lord, if you want me here, you better give me your words. I don’t know what I’m doing so you better not go anywhere. And, oh yea, I’m sick of this ‘whispering business,’ please, please speak a little bit louder!’ 

A few days before leaving, I was eating lunch with Alaan, and when the food came I whipped out a quick prayer that I could probably repeat by now in my sleep. ‘God, thank you for this food, bless the hands that prepared it, and our nourishment to your glory. We love you. Amen.’ Alaan, who has lived most of his life in Mexico, and became a Christian just a few years ago asked me how I knew what words to say. I thought about it and realized that much of my prayer life, and much of the way that I talk to God has become routine and almost robotic. He looked at me, semi-perplexed and said, ‘Well, maybe you could pray again, then.’ I thought about it and for the first time, in awhile, I really told God how thankful I was for his provision- in my simpler, much more honest words. 

Fast forward three days and its 3:00am (who knows what time zone) and I’m alone in the Dubai airport. I’m about to miss my flight and I’m panicking. When I got off the plane from London, I was herded into a line for customs where I thought I was going to pick up my bags, re-check them and be on my way to Hyderabad. I waited for an hour and a half to get through the passport check but when I arrived to the luggage area, my bags were no where to be found. I asked several people where the London bags were arriving and they all sent me in different directions. Finally one man who spoke a bit of English grabbed my tags and realized that I was in the wrong place. He told me to go up, around and over, catch the bus to terminal three, re-check in and...to HURRY. Signs were in arabic and I began to ask people every two yards where terminal three was. Sometimes I was told to go upstairs, other times to go outside, but slowly I figured out how to get to the bus that would supposedly take me to where I needed to be. As the bus pulled away from the airport I looked up and said, God, I need you to show up. We pulled around to the front gates and I ran into a huge, empty, ware-house size entrance and began to play the ‘ask everyone I see’ game again. One woman from Romania graciously walked me to the line I needed to be in, but also told me that I would never make the flight. At this point I had about 30 minutes before the plane would leave for India and I would stay behind. The desks in front of me were complete chaos. People were fighting, arguing, pushing in front of me, and for the first time I realized that I was in a culture, and would be for the next few months, were I was practically invisible. No men would look at me, and when held up my ticket and told them I was late they shooed me off to the long lines of seeminly unhappy, fighting people. I felt my body start to shake and as i held back tears I again looked up and pleaded, God, please show up, I don’t know what to do. I finally reached the front of the line and the woman stared at her computer screen, confused as to why I was ‘re-checking in.’ Then all of the sudden, something clicked and she printed out the ticket and told me to RUN. I didn’t ask twice and just started sprinting towards security. I was going to so fast that I made the guard jump, ‘You afraid me,’ he said as he started to laugh. I flew through security and up the stairs to where my flight would be leaving in 10 short minutes. The gate was open. Thank You. My body relaxed and I walked on the flight only to find out that because I was so late, my luggage had been transferred free of charge and my seat had been upgraded to first class. I stretched out in the bed-like seat, closed my eyes and heard God saying to me, My grace is made perfect in your weakness, Remember me, trust me and cry out to me. Relax girl, I got your back.

Fast forward two more days and we are standing in a small rural village praying over mango trees pleading that God would use the fruit that it bears to be a sign to the people of God’s provision and love for them. Women and men alike tug on our shirts, drawing us into their homes, eager to have their family’s blessed, their illnesses cured and their burden’s lifted through prayer. As I stood over a women’s bed after her complicated child birth and held her tiny 7 day year old baby boy whose fever was burning through the blanket, I again felt like I had no idea what to do. The woman placed my hand on her head and said, ‘pray, pray.’ She was not asking for medicine, or money- just prayer. She believed that God would heal her. 

After our concerts at night, the same sort of things happens. We walk out into the crowd and people are so eager to be prayed for. ‘Sister, sister, pray,’ they say. Slowly, but in a very powerful way, God has used their faith to empower mine. They don’t pray because they think they should, they pray because they believe in God and rely on him for each next step that they take. 

On the first night I was sitting with a group of young girls after we finished singing and one girl came straight to me and asked if I would pray for her studies. Her parents were without work and she had five brothers and sisters who were all in school. She also had a math test the next day. (Sometimes we are not as different as we think we are). I closed my eyes and waited. The Lord began giving me scriptures to pray over her and for the first time I felt an intimate connection with God. It was like he was not only listening to me, he was also giving me the words to say. It was awesome. When we finished she immediately took my hand and moved it to another girl standing beside her. She asked the girl what she wanted prayer for and roughly translated it back to me. This was a huge blessing because much of my prayer that afternoon had sounded something like this, Lord, I have no idea what this women just said to me, but you know her heart, you know what she needs. The language barrier helped me at first to realize that I was talking to God- literally he was the only one who could understand me- but at the same time I wanted to be able to pray about in a more personal, specific way for these girls. My sweet new friend, who I came to find out was named Bharathi, became a sort of administrator/translator for the next half our or so. When I finished praying for one person she would be ready with the next person’s name, requests, and current situation. Its hard to find people who can go deeper than name, age and greetings in English and this girl was translating things like ‘Father- alcohol in home,’ ‘Sugar- her diabetes,’ and even ‘kidney stones, pain.’ She was a blessing. 

As I try to verbalize WHAT exactly it is that I am learning, here are a few of my reflections: 

1. God provides in a very REAL way. We have seen, and learned how to recognize and expect God’s miraculous provision. I am reminded of stories like that of the women who reached out and touched Jesus’s cloak, and the paralytic whose friends brought him to Jesus feet. In each case Jesus said, ‘Your faith has healed you.’ When Jesus came across a blind and mute man he asked him, ‘Do you believe I am able to do this?’ The man responded, ‘Yes Lord,’ to which Jesus said, ‘According to your faith it will be done to you.’

2. Chris has encouraged us to learn and practice talking to God intimately- the way we might talk to a close friend or a lover. When you love someone, you never get tired of telling them how amazing they are- how beautiful, how awesome, how captivating. Sometimes that means writing out a letter, maybe that means quoting scripture- God’s very own poetry, and maybe that means just being honest and speaking truth. 

3. From Jesus Calling- a Devotional: “It’s all right to be human. When your mind wanders while you are praying, don’t be suprised or upset. Simply return your attention to Me. Share a secret smile with Me, knowing that I understand. Rejoice in My Love for you, which has no limits or conditions. Whisper My Name in loving contentment, assured that I will never leave you or forsake you. Intersperse these peaceful interludes abundantly throughout your day. This practice will enable you to attain a quite and gentle spirit, which is pleasing to Me. As you live in close contact with Me, the Light of My Presence filters through you to bless others. Your weakness and woundedness are the openings through which the LIght of the knowledge of My Glory shines forth. My strength and power show themselves most effective in your weakness.”

4. Americans in India, especially Americans willing to sing and dance,  are treated like movie stars. I have been wondering what is so special about our prayers- why peopel are so eager to have Westerners pray over them- and God gave me this verse “For God, who said, “Let light sine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Cor 4:9”  We are different, and that is exciting for some people, but ultimately when we pray or minister to anyone we are just clay jars that God can use for his Glory.

5. Kevin has called this week an 'extended prayer walk,' and I think that is completely accurate. I have learned more than I ever had what it means to "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 

(1 Thes 5:16-18)

6. Prayer and adoration is a discipline. We were created to worship God and to be in relationship with him, but it does not always come naturally to us. I have been so grateful for a group of 60 people that has surrounded me this week and the larger body of Summit and friends who have been praying for us. To have people constantly pointing towards the Lord at every turn of the corner has been the perfect way to start off my extended stay here in India. 

"Happy Welcome to You"

Sweet children from local orphanage that presented dance and song for us as a welcome. 

(Sung to the tune of Happy B-day, “Happy Welcome to you...Happy Welcome to you..”)

Banners await us everywhere we go. Who knew Summit Choir would ever be so famous!? 

Ask and You Shall Receive

In January of last year I started praying about leaving my job and using this 'responsibility free season' of life to go overseas again. As I began day dreaming about moving to Africa to learn French or biking through Central America, I prayed that God would open up a door and make his will clear to me. (If God had a nickel for every time someone prayed for open doors...). In June I got an email from my church choir director telling us that our choir had been invited to participate in a short term mission trip...to India. I read the email on my phone, made a kind of squealy noise and immediately called my mom and told her I was moving to Asia. 

Any of you that know me could testify to the fact that I tend to get very excited about things very quickly. Two days had not passed before I was in the Global Hope India home office in Raleigh organizing my five month internship and the details of the trip. A few weeks later, however, I began to wonder if my excitement over bright colors, curry, nose rings and yoga had run away with me, yet agian. Was this my idea? Did God actually call me here? Have I taken time to listen to Him? My prayers shifted slightly in format and I found myself asking God less for direction and more for affirmation. After all, I speak Spanish, not Telugu. I’ve never wanted to go to Asia before in my life, why now? Sometimes even when God literally blows a door down, our hearts tend to doubt. 

Amazing as it is, God listens to our prayers and over the past few weeks I have been given glimpses of what I like to call the ‘master plan’, the seemingly mysterious weavings together that is God’s Kingdom unfolding. Being the annoyingly extroverted person that I am, I have noticed that God likes to use people to speak into my life. Here are stories of a few relationships that God has used to affirm his purpose and plan for my life this Spring.

Anita and Dileep: About a month ago I was sitting at a restaurant waiting for a friend when a couple came up and sat beside me at the bar. They looked Indian enough to me, so I asked them where they were from. Mumbai. Anita and I became immediate friends and by the end of our conversation we had exchanged emails and I had been offered a place to stay with her mother if I made it to their side of the country. I promised to teach the couple how to dance Salsa if they would teach me about Indian cooking so we set the dates and planned our our ‘lessons’. Welcoming each other into our homes, laughing, breaking bread and exchanging stories gave me my first insight into Indian culture and hospitality. I have to say that they picked up dancing much faster than I picked up seasoning chicken or making chai tea, but I have promised to bring back some recipes from my trip and to keep practicing. 

(Cooking at Anita and Dileep's house) 

Shabina and Chuck: I was introduced to Shabina, Chuck and Chuck’s parents two weeks ago at church after the choir was commissioned and our trip was prayed for at each Summit service that weekend. A common friend tracked both of us down and made sure that we connected before I left. Chuck’s father, Anajanibabu, was baptized last year at Summit, and to my great surprise he and his wife are from Ongole, the small coastal town I will be living in for my five month stay. If you believe in coincidences, check out google map and see how many times you have to zoom in before Ongole even appears! The older couple had been praying about being able to get involved with missions when they returned to India and you can imagine their surprise when they found out that the fastest growing church planting organization in the world was based- that’s right- in their home town. The five of us were able to pray together and Shabina lent me some of her clothes to get me through the first few weeks in the heat. I was again spoiled with Indian cooking at Shabina and Chuck’s house and I look forward to spending time with Anajanibabu (Jonny-Boo for short) and family IN India. 

(Meeting Anajanibabu and Wife at Church) 

Summit Community: From the time that I arrived back in Durham two years ago, God has not hesitated to surround me with people that challenge me, a congregation that loves me and a community to serve in and with. As our group of 60 choir members has been meeting, packing and praying together we have already seen God’s hand of favor upon us. Knowing that a larger congregation of two languages (woot woot Summit in Espanol!), 6 campuses and over 5000 people is praying for us, for India and for God’s will to be done in this trip absolutely blows my mind. 

(Goodbye Party with Summit Friends)

I have been using Shane Claiborne's Book of Common Prayer this last week in my quite time and I have found an amazing amount of assurance and peace in part of the liturgy for Comline prayer. "We may never see the results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own."  God calls us, God affirms us, God holds the future and God created the master plan. 

Thank you to all of you who have lifted me and our team up in prayer these last few weeks. We leave Friday evening at 6:00 and are hoping to be in Hyderabad by the following Monday morning. Until then! 

Prayer Email RePosted to Blog!

PARA EL TEXTO EN ESPANOL, LEA MAS ABAJO!

 

Dearest Friends and Family,

I'm am so excited as I sit down to write this letter, partly because of the news I have to share, but also in light of the fact that I have such a wonderful community to share it with! I am continuously blessed by amazing people wherever I seem to land, and I am so grateful to each of you for being a part of my life at some time or another.

As some of you already know I am taking the plunge out of my English and Spanish speaking comfort zones this spring to join a group of people working and serving in Andhra Pradesh, India. I will be interning with Global Hope India (GHI), a local organization based out of Raleigh, which in turn partners with an in-country Indian organization called Indian Christian Ministries (ICM). I leave on January 18th as part of a short-term mission team with The Summit Church Choir, and will then remain in India for the internship that extends through the end of May.

GHI participates in several native led projects that include village development, child rescue and church planting. Their mission is to empower the church in India to advance the gospel using things like well-building and orphan care to share the message of Christ. As Indian missionary K.P. Yohannan says, "God’s Plan A for the redemption of the world is the Church, and He has no Plan B." I got to be a part of a wonderful church plant in Quito, Ecuador last year, and I am so excited to continue learning about church development and Global Christianity with Indian brothers and sisters this spring.

That first week our choir will be touring around several different village churches assisting in worship and getting to partake in a few international music festivals. From there I will most likely move into a family style orphanage, living and learning from some amazing women and children. To be honest, I probably won’t have any more details until I start to live them out in Andhra Pradesh, but I am promising to be a faithful blogger throughout the experience! My hope is to see first-hand what God is doing in Asia, and learn about how that affects (or should affect) the western church and the way I live my life.

While India is an incredibly beautiful country full of culture, colors, spices and tradition, the dichotomy between wealth and poverty is, for lack of a better word, staggering. To give you a small glimpse:

-          Over 40% of the total population lives below the international poverty line surviving on less than US$1.25 per day.

-          Half of the entire world's orphans, 86 million children, live in this small country roughly about a third of the size of the US.

-          About 200 Indian women and girls are forced into the sex-trafficking industry daily, many of which were born into a cast that virtually assigned them such a fate from birth.

 From my relatively short experience living in Ecuador, a country similarly dichotomized by extreme wealth and poverty, I resonate with K.P.'s conclusion that “The only weapon that will ever effectively win the war against disease, hunger, injustice and poverty in Asia is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To look into the sad eyes of a hungry child or see the wasted life of a drug addict is to see only the evidence of Satan’s hold on this world.” Not surprisingly the gospel message of light, hope and salvation spreads quickly in a country full of darkness, desperation and death.  ICM has planted over 3600 Churches in the state of Andhra Pradesh and continues to train and send pastors into more and more villages every day.

Want to know more about India and Participate in Global Missions? Here are some things you can do to 'travel with me this Spring': 

1.       PRAY!! God has graciously provided the financing for my trip, but what I am counting on you all, my friends and family, for is PRAYER: Prayer for me, prayer for GHI and ICM and prayer for India. There have been times in my life when I have felt nothing else sustaining me except the prayers of people far away.  

2.       READ MY BLOG (Yay! you are already doing that!) 

3. Check out the websites below or get your hands on K.P.'s book 'Revolution in World Missions (It's provides an awesome insight into India and its free!)

I'll send out an email closer to the time I will be leaving, but here are a few things I would appreciate prayer for over the next few months.

- Prayer that God would give me a swift ability to pick up parts of a new language. In Andhra Pradesh the predominant language is called ‘Telugu.’ దేవుడే ప్రేమ Can you read that? Neither can I!! J Our choir will be preparing a few songs in Telugu and I hope to be able to communicate, at least to some degree, with my community there.

- Prayer for logistics and preparation with paperwork, vaccines, flights, rehearsals, etc.

- Prayer as I wrap things up here at work and attempt to finish Grad School Applications this fall before leaving.

Thanks you so much for your prayers and support! If you want more info or have questions or anything, please feel free to write me!

Blessings,

Courtney Paulson

"For the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty." 2 Cor. 3:17

http://www.indiachristianministries.org

http://www.gfa.org/resource/books/revolution/

http://www.globalhopeindia.org

 AQUI ESTA!

Queridos amigos y familia,

Estoy tan emocionada al sentarme para escribir esta carta, en parte por las noticias que voy a compartir, pero también por saber que tengo una comunidad de apoyo para compartirlas.  Todo el tiempo me siento bendecida por personas maravillosas dondequiera que pisen mis pies y estoy tan agradecida con cada uno de ustedes por ser parte de mi vida en uno u otro momento.

Como algunos de ustedes ya saben, voy a tomar el riesgo de salir de mis zonas de comodidad en inglés y en español en esta primavera, para unirme a un grupo de personas que trabajan y sirven en Andhra Pradesh, India.  Voy a hacer una pasantía con Global Hope India (GHI), que es una organización local que tiene su base en Raleigh y que, a su vez, tiene una alianza con una organización hindú llamada Indian Christian Ministries (ICM).  Salgo el 18 de enero como parte de un viaje misionero a corto plazo con el coro de la Iglesia Summit, y luego me quedaré en India para la pasantía hasta fines de mayo.

GHI participa en varios proyectos dirigidos por nacionales, que incluye el desarrollo de las aldeas, rescate infantil y fundación de iglesias.  Su misión es apoderar a la Iglesia en India para que extienda el evangelio utilizando herramientas como la construcción de pozos y el cuidado a los huérfanos para compartir el mensaje de Cristo.  Como afirma el misionero en India, K.P. Yohannan: “El ‘Plan A’ de Dios para la redención del mundo es la Iglesia y Él no tiene un ‘Plan B'”.  Tuve la oportunidad de ser parte de una iglesia increible que esta en proceso de fundación en Quito, Ecuador, el año pasado, y estoy tan emocionada por seguir aprendiendo sobre el desarrollo de la Iglesia y el cristianismo global junto con los hermanos de la India durante la primavera.

Durante la primera semana, nuestro coro realizará un tour por algunas iglesias en diferentes aldeas.  Ayudaremos con la adoración yseremos parte de algunos festivales internacionales de música.  Después de ello, lo más probable es que me mude a un orfanato que tiene un modelo de familias. Para ser sincera, probablemente no tendré más detalles hasta que comience a vivir en Andhra Pradesh, pero prometo escribir fielmente en mi blog a lo largo de esta experiencia.  Mi esperanza es ver de primera mano lo que Dios está haciendo en Asia y aprender sobre cómo eso impacta (o debería impactar) a la iglesia occidental y la forma en que llevo a cabo mi vida.

Aunque India es un país increíblemente hermoso, lleno de cultura, colores, especias y tradición, la dicotomía entre la riqueza y la pobreza es, a falta de una palabra mejor, impactante.  Para darles una pequeña idea:

-          Más del 40% de la población total vive bajo el estándar internacional de pobreza y sobrevive con menos de $1.25 al día.

-          La mitad de la cantidad de huérfanos en todo el mundo, 86 millones de niños, viven en este pequeño país que tiene un tercio del tamaño de los Estados Unidos.

-          Aproximadamente 200 mujeres y niñas hindúes son forzadas a entrar a la industria del tráfico sexual a diario, muchas de las cuales nacieron en una casta que prácticamente les asignó ese destino desde su nacimiento.

De mi relativamente corta experiencia de vida en Ecuador, un país que tiene una dicotomía similar con extremos de riqueza y pobreza, hago eco de la conclusión de K.P.: “La única arma que podrá ganar efectivamente la guerra en contra de las enfermedades, el hambre, la injusticia y la pobreza en Asia es el evangelio de Jesucristo.  Mirar en los tristes ojos de un niño hambriento o ver la vida desperdiciada de un drogadicto es mirar la evidencia del dominio de Satanás en este mundo”.  No es sorprendente que el mensaje de luz, esperanza y salvación del evangelio se extienda rápidamente en un país lleno de tinieblas, desesperación y muerte.  ICM ha fundado más de 3,600 iglesias en el estado de Andhra Pradesh y continúa capacitando y enviando a pastores a más aldeas todos los días.

Si quieren conocer más sobre India y participar en las misiones globales, aquí les sugiero algunas cosas que pueden hacer para “viajar conmigo en esta primavera”:

1.      ¡OREN!  Dios, en Su gracia, ha provisto el financiamiento para mi viaje, pero cuento con todos ustedes, amigos y familia, con sus ORACIONES.  Oren por mí, oren por GHI, por ICM y por india.  Ha habido veces en mi vida en las que he sentido que nada me sostiene, excepto las oraciones de personas que están lejos.

2.      ¡LEAN MI BLOG! (Yay! Ya lo estan haciendo!)

3.      Chequeen las páginas Web que les pongo a continuación o consigan el libro de K.P. Yohannan, ‘Revolución en el mundo de las misiones’ (http://www.gfa.org/librogratis/), que ofrece una excelente visión sobre India, ¡y es gratis!

Les enviaré otro correo cuando se acerque el tiempo de mi salida, pero aquí hay algunas cosas por las que les agradecería que oren durante los próximos meses.

-          Para que Dios me dé una rápida habilidad de entender partes de un nuevo idioma.  En Andhra Pradesh, el idioma predominante se llama ‘telugu’.  దేవుడే ప్రేమ ¿Pueden leerlo?  ¡Yo tampoco!  J  Nuestro coro estará preparando algunas canciones en telugu y espero poder comunicarme, al menos hasta cierto grado, con mi comunidad allá.

-          Por la logística y la preparación con los trámites, vacunas, vuelos, ensayos, etcétera.

-          Oren por mí mientras dejo listo todo aquí en el trabajo y en mi intento de terminar las solicitudes para el posgrado este otoño, antes de salir.

¡Muchas gracias por sus oraciones y apoyo!  Si quieren conocer más detalles o tienen preguntas, por favor, escríbanme con confianza.

Bendiciones,

  

Courtney Paulson

"El Señor es el Espíritu; y donde está el Espíritu del Señor, allí hay libertad." 2 Cor. 3:17

http://www.indiachristianministries.org

http://www.gfa.org/resource/books/revolution/

http://www.globalhopeindia.org

Abandonment and Freedom: Reflections on a new Adventure. 

“Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23

As I prepare to leave for India in a few weeks, I can’t help but think of one of my favorite movies, “Into the Wild.” If anyone has ever sat through this movie, you know that the 2 1/2 hour long story is not your typical thriller. I, however, saw it 3 times...in theaters! I often wonder what it is that entices me so much about Christopher’s story, but I think that what ultimately draws me to his adventure is a reckless abandonment and absolute freedom. 

When Christopher graduates from college he rejects his conventional life by destroying all of his credit cards and identification documents. Renaming himself ‘Supertramp,’ he donates nearly all of his entire savings of $24,000 to charity, abandons his car and sets out cross-country to experience life in the wilderness. 

India, while not the great wilderness of Alaska, is definitely as far in the direction of ‘unknown’ as I have ever been. If you have ever met me you know that I’m not much for solitude, so while I don’t see myself going completely rogue in the near future, there is a part of me that longs for this type of disconnect from modern society- unplugging myself from the matrix of technology, expectations and materialism that controls most of the western world. 

It is rare these days that I take time to sit down and write, that I have time to listen and reflect. Mental stillness is hard to come by in a world of Twitter, instant news and social networking. The distractions of today seem overwhelming and I can feel my heart longing for simplicity, clarity and freedom. As of late those words- reckless abandonment- seem to be saturated with freedom. 

Abandonment, in a spiritual since, is absolutely biblical. God calls us to follow him with a ‘reckless abandonment’, and as Hillsong suggests ‘with arms high and hearts abandoned.’ It sounds great but what exactly does it mean to do something with reckless abandon? What are we to abandon? Family, Home, money, success, expectations, comfort...perhaps. Some things are easy to let go..and others, harder. In order to follow God without regard for the consequences, every other earthly thing  must be worth abandoning. Every person that Jesus called to follow him had to completely abandon their old life and yet true abandonment must be driven by a wild and wonderful passion - the type of passion that drives us to do the impossible- to believe that the Kingdom truly can come.  

Abandonment does not always mean moving to India, but, whether mentally or quite physically, it is the first step of entering into the story that God has for us. When are hearts are open to God and emptied of everything else, there is great freedom to obey and great reward in his presence. 

"I'm not entirely sure you're at the right house," said Bilbo, staring at the giant wizard. How could someone so great and powerful expect a little old hobbit to go on an adventure? "No adventures, they make you late for dinner."

Bilbo promptly stormed in the house and sat down for his dinner, smiling as he tucked his napkin into his shirt. His home was just lovely. Bag End was his favorite place in all the Shire - beautiful, peaceful, and familiar.

Little did he know that by nights end, he would be arguing with a gang of dwarves and the same giant wizard, still refusing to join their quest. Even the dwarves agreed - this was no adventure for a measly little hobbit.

"The wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves," said one of them.

The powerful wizard retaliated, "I have chosen him. He's got a great deal to offer more than any of you know, including himself."

As the argument escalated, little Bilbo fainted with a mix of fear and inadequacy. After he awoke and rested for a bit, he was still begging "No, no, let me sit."

"Bilbo Baggins. You've been sitting quietly for far too long. When did your mother's dishes and doiles come to mean so much to you? Your stories are not in books - they're out there in the world. You'll have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back, and you'll never be the same."

Despite the powerful call, the spirit of inadequacy spread past the little man with big feet through to the small dwarf army.

"We're tinkerers and toymakers - hardly the stuff of legend," said one.

The wizard would have none of it. "When I called, you answered. All I ask for is loyalty, honor, and a willing heart."

But still, their small army set out in the morning, hobbitless. As Bilbo awoke, he realized he had said no, gotten his way, and was free from the call to leave behind all he knew for the quest. But a seed had been planted in his heart. He'd tasted the possibility of a journey, an adventure. A story about more than his mother's dishes, doilies, and a quiet dinner in the Shire. So, he went. He began his story - his adventure.

And we all know the story of what happens because he made the decision to put his inadequacy behind him.
To abandon the quiet familiar. And to start his adventure.

- From “The Hobbit” 

Lumbisí

La Curli! Oye Curli! Mira, la Curli!
These are the shouts that I hear as I get off the bus each morning
Stepping off the magic green time machine that brings this
slightly out of place,
light haired, light eyed gringa
into their world.
I guess Its just as hard for them to pronounce the hard 't' in my name,
as it is for me to understand the hard truth of their existence.

I'm transported into a world that seems only to exist in the past.
Could it be that my 20 minute bus ride didn't take me 10 miles out of the city
but 10 decades backwards through time?
And every day, like the shock of realizing that you're dreaming
I realize... I'm not in the past but the present and the future
See, they all look the same here
so its hard to tell.

With every advance there seems to be a setback so
what should be a one way, paved road leading forward into development
is actually a winding dirt path dando vueltas
cycling eternally through a heritage of poverty and tradition
Maybe thats the secret of the green bus
Flying through the mountainous roads
circling past generations, loosing track of time as in arrives in the plaza
always back to the same spot where it left me the day before.

I remember thinking that first day, this pueblo smells old.
But now when I get off that bus
I breath in the town and the memories fill my lungs
fill my whole body,
this pueblo smells like Juanito, Kenner-ruscho, Quishpe, Sancancela, like home.
Mountain air, smoke, dirt, wrinkled hands and sweat.

Dirt that defies gravity to permanently rest in mid air
left there by the children who,
with a few marbles, and a warn out soccer ball
have little use for the latest ipod or video game.
Fruit was meant to be picked and trees meant to be climbed
and well, childhood is over as soon as you learn to grind out a dollar
so I stare that sweet innocence in the face just dare it to dissapear.

Sweat dripping off the faces of three generations of women
abandoned mothers caught in the merciless cycle of machismo
as they sweep the dust off their floors,
shoo the dogs out of their kitchens
stir the soup to feed their sons and daughters
daughters upon whom I wish motion sickness
dizzines that gives them the will to battle the endless circles that have left their mothers and grandmothers oblivious to abuse and injustice

Dancing and laughter linger in my head from a late night fiesta
but my smile turns dry when I see that the celebration has left its mark
Old men sprawed out on the street drunk and bloody and
Somehow, still too prideful to take the the water from my hands.
They leave it to their women to wear their shame
Strong women.
Ribbon weaved into their tight braids,
They are adorned with the pride of withstanding.
Without a word she gets him to the bed.
Head on pillow
Body covered with the cobija she made with her very own hands.
She is an expert at forgetting, swallowing, holding her head high.
Hiding the problem like she hides the scars.

Hoping to understand I follow the road, winding, twisting its way downward.
Passing house after house, cement walls,
bright colord paint faded and peeling
My sound track Reggeaton, Salsa, Meregue and Musica National
Blasting from each window comes a new rythem for my Journey
With rock in hand I pass a pack of starving dogs
Like their human counterparts they are Immune to the feel of flys on their faces or the sound of threatening words so
The rocks only purpose I realize is to feed my need for control.
The smell gets stronger the farther I go.
A heard of cattle pass by on my left.
There smell is distinct from the one that drives me on, down, farther.
Eyes catch sight of me, gently hold me with their gaze
One pair handing me off to the next, carrying me, I'm floating on their curiosity.

Downwards I walk, further further until I hear the sound
The noise a perfect fit for the puzzle peice my nose is holding.
And then sight, ironically the last of my senses to register
I see the River, deep in its basin, its movements flawless, swift and poderosos.
It is the sound of life and the smell of death intermingling
As if to tell me that they are kin.
Here exists that line I've heard about, so fine it is missed by many.
Life, it's joy and its suffering, separated from death by a mere breath of air.
A breath I now take in, gulping it down as if it were scarce.
How many lives these waters have taken,
but how many more they have nsustained
To live in recognition of death is to breath intentionally.

Time seems to laugh as I stand in awe Its greatest juxtoposition
Being and then so suddenly not being.
My mind tired from the search for
Answer that exist in such simplicity
I refuse to accept, to understand.
The fight to move forward is stilled by the river’s control
I am powerless against it and yet
I find strange comfort in such weakness, such closeness to death and to life.
This is the secret of my bus.. The story of this pueblo
Winding through the familiar, the safe, stearing clear of the unknown.

“Is crossing the road towards a beloved Other risky? Yes. Inconvenient? Terribly. Uncomfortable? Absolutely. If you leave your car parked on the other side for more than two hours, it can even get costly. And yet crossing the road to meet the stranger is the way we walk when we study and track a d trail- when we follow- the person of Jesus.”

Over the years I, like my friend Margo who wrote the book this quote comes from, have come to the conclusion that Jesus was a ‘road-crosser.’ He loved the unlovable, the neglected, the marginalized, the immigrant, the forgotten, the different and the invisible ‘others’ that live throughout our communities.

John McCain is a good friend of my dad’s. Dad and John are different. Their friendship is the perfect example of what I’m getting at here. John is a tall African American man who assists a lively Southern Baptist church right around the corner from my parent’s namely white, non-quite-so-lively- Prysbyterian church in Downtown Durham. The two men have fostered a relationship by getting meals together, taking uncomfortable yet intentional steps to visit each other’s churches and even planning a join men’s retreat that mixed the two congregations and their two cultures. When John showed up at our doorstep this morning with a few members of his congregation, two asian women and a boom-box, I could almost here God saying ‘This is going to be good. This is my kingdom.’

Lily and her daughter Sunshine are from China. They are third and fourth generation opera singers that found there way to St. John’s Baptist a few weeks ago. After hearing them sing at church on Sunday John asked them if they would mind sharing their gift with a few special friends via Caroling. They came all the way to our house- inconveniently located across town- to sing to us and tell us that God loved us. Sunshine and I are different. She is from China, I am from well, here. She speaks Manderin and Cantonese, I speak Spanish. Her culture is respectful and quite, mine is quite obnoxious and loud. What I did not expect when God brought some of his beloved ‘others’ right into my home is that despite our differences we would also become almost immediate friends! Would I have ever seen Sunshine and ‘crossed the street’ to say hello? Probably not. Would I have ever found out that we both studied Economics, we both love coffee or that she and her mom are actually blackbelt Karate instructors!? Nope.

Is loving someone who speaks a different language or eats different food or wears different clothes uncomfortable? Sometimes Awkward? Usually. Life-giving? Definitly.

Just catch this picture for a second: John McCain, my family as well as the large family of Australians that are visiting us for the holidays (Oh yea did I forget to mention that!) sitting on the couch in my living room listening to Sunshine and her mom belt out Ave Maria and songs from the Chinese Opera for their audience of 12.

I have come to love the street-crossing life and yet I am continually humbled to look out my window and see people crossing over so many levels of social boundaries to arrive on my front door step. If you're not quite sure you believe me check out this picture of sunshine's moves!